In the article
“Writing Your Way to Happiness”, Parker-Pope
(2015) states that writing one’s own experience can develop physical and mental
health. The author believes that our world outlook and self-positioning depends
on these personal statements. Stanford researchers once carried out a study on
the college freshmen. Results showed that writing could encourage people and
give them confidence towards their future. Parker-Pope
also mentions that writing can help people to face the difficulties in their
life truly. By taking example of a woman Siri in the Johnson & Johnson
Human Performance Institute, she realised her real problems through writing.
Thus, it is asserted in the article that writing indeed helps people recognize
what hinders them and give them a chance to change themselves.
As supported from
the article, Parker-Pope had given lots of examples how expressive writing can benefits
someone’s physical and mental health. There are many benefits of expressive
writing. It can lead to behavioural changes and improve happiness.
Parker-Pope
states that Stanford researchers once carried an study about asking a part of
African-American students to keep dairy or video to be seen by future students.
The results have showed that the African-American students who cared about
writing or video everyday achieved better grades. This have clearly shown how
writing will help people to improve in its behaviour and in turn also increase in
their work’s performance.
It is also stated
in the article, a woman named Siri initially wanted to improve her fitness, but
as the primary breadwinner for her family she had to work long hours and
already felt guilty about time spent away from her children. After prompting,
she eventually wrote a new story, based on the same facts but with a more
honest assessment of why she doesn’t exercise. The truth was that she did not
like to exercise and also did not value her health enough. She used work and
the kids as excuses to her lack of fitness.
In another news
article, “28 Years Of Psychology Shows That Expressive Writing Makes You Way
Happier”, Baer. D,
(2014) also states that avoiding unpleasant emotions or suppressing their thoughts will
makes their body tense, their mood negative, and their cognition impaired. By
writing down all unhappy thoughts and feelings, they are disclosing them. As a
result, they will feel happier as they can access, express, and process those
blocked-up emotions.
References
Parker-Pope. T. (2015, Jan 19). Writing your way to happiness [Web log
post]. Retrieved from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=1&module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=Health&action=keypress®ion=FixedLeft&pgtype=Blogs
Baer, D. (2014, May 24). 28 Years Of Psychology Shows That
"Expressive Writing" Makes You Way Happier - Business Insider.
Retrieved February 13, 2015, from http://www.businessinsider.sg/the-positive-effects-of-journaling-and-expressive-writing-2014-5/#.VN2zUC6uro0
We felt that your essay started out with a brief summary of the article. We also felt that the rest of the ‘supporting statements’ were more like a more in depth summary of the article.
ReplyDeleteYou should include a thesis statement of your own ideas. Take for example ‘I agree/disagree with the author view that’. Then follow up by including supporting ideas-> explanation of the supporting ideas, examples that support your assertion or other statements that help support your assertion. (don’t forget to link back to the thesis statement) :D
Done by: Zhengguang Han, Zhou Qi and Yuxi
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cheng Hwok, for this effort. You present a fairly decent summary, and a response that shows knowledge of the original article. What seems to need most work is your thesis, and the way you support it.
ReplyDeleteThe key problem in this post is that, as your peers have mentioned, the response, while is tied to the article, seems more like an expansion of the summary than your own reaction to the author's ideas. Again, the weak thesis has probably impacted this.
The areas to consider in rewriting include:
--- --- By taking example of a woman Siri in the Johnson & Johnson Human Performance Institute, she realized her real problems through writing. >>>
Who is "taking (the) example of a woman (named) Siri? "She"? Or Parker-Pope?
--- As supported from the article, Parker-Pope... >>> huh? Parker-Pope is supported?
--- Parker-Pope **had given** lots of examples how expressive writing can benefits someone’s physical and mental health. >>> Why use past perfect tense?
--- There are many benefits of expressive writing. It can lead to behavioural changes and improve happiness. >>> effective ( thesis)?
--- researchers once carried an study about asking a part of African-American students >> ???
--- The results have showed.../ This have clearly shown... >>> verb tense/subject-verb agreement
--- people to improve in its behaviour >> its?
--- It is also stated in the article, a woman ... It is also stated in the article THAT a woman ...
--- The truth was that she did not like to exercise and also did not value her health enough. She used work and the kids as excuses to her lack of fitness.
>>> Ok..and so what? Your reaction?
--- Improper use of in-text and end-of-text citation!
Let's improve this, man. I know you can do better!